“If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.” Woody Allen

I don’t know about you but I hate to fail.  Failure just sucks.  It is so much more fun to win and be successful.  Unfortunately, failure is a part of life.  I guess that makes me a poor loser.  In the past I would just stop with that last statement and then try even harder to win next time.  I called that perseverance and I even held that up as a virtue but I was missing something significant.

Just to be clear, I do believe that persevering is a critical element in creating the opportunity and environment for success to happen, but only through failure have I really learned and gained wisdom; and wisdom has been beneficial in my life and those I come into contact with.

The reason I (and most people) are not interested in failure is because it usually means pain of some sort and we all want, and were taught, to avoid pain.  I am not suggesting that we need to seek out some kind of failure induced suffering, but instead that we change our focus from the failure and move it to the adjustments we can make.

It’s all about the adjustments.

I learned this recently when the second quarter team goal that I was responsible for didn’t get accomplished.  I had an opportunity to model failure in front of my team.  I could have made excuses (and have in the past), I could have denied or ignored it (ditto), but instead I took a different tack.  I told my team that I failed, but most importantly, I laid out the adjustments to the plan that I felt would allow me to be successful during the third quarter.  This was liberating for me because I was honest about the disappointment with myself but also what I planned to do about it.  My team even got to speak into my adjustment plan and feel vested in what I was doing.

This kind of humility and transparency are vital in an organization and especially one that you want to build trust.  I am not perfect and I need to accept that and model what happens when I fail or I can’t expect anyone else on my team to do the same.  There is no getting around the fact that it’s hard to do, but the benefits far outweigh the personal apprehension you may be feeling.

Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean I am accepting a lower level of performance expectation or commitment from me or the team, in fact, what you will find is that the faster you can learn how to adjust, the sooner you can reach your team goals.  Fail-adjust. Fail-adjust. Fail-adjust.  Getting stuck on failure is where I have gone astray previously and now try to move to adjustment much quicker.

If you want to know more about the impact on my team, feel free to drop me a note or give me a call and I’d be happy to share more about what I’ve learned in this area.

P.S. Go for it.  The sooner your team knows you are human and fail too, the more of your energy will be focused on adjustment, and the sooner you will see significant impacts on your team success, energy, and performance.

If you take a minute to look at my book list you’ll notice I suggested reading The 4 Hour Workweek, by Tim Ferriss.  I have mentioned the book before in a previous blog post and there is another point Tim makes that I thought was worth highlighting; it’s the following:

There is a difference in importance between just plain “activity” in my life and “urgent and important” things.

John Wooden, the legendary basketball coach at UCLA was also quoted as saying something in a similar vein, “Don’t confuse activity with achievement.” 

I can have a tendency to get caught up in “activities” that create a sense that I’m doing a lot during my day but when I leave the office (or at the end of my day) I can get the feeling that I really didn’t get anything I wanted to get done, done.  Has that happened to you?  Basically, by being a super hero multi-tasker and letting the flow of activities, details, phone calls, and emails act as the governors of my day, instead of focusing on the really important tasks that need to be done.

I can’t tell you the number of days I get out of bed in the morning and jump right on my email.  In the book, Tim talks about taking time in the morning to jot down one to three urgent and important things that you want to get done that day, preferably the night before.  Then before the television goes on, or before you open up email, make sure to get at least one “urgent and important” thing done.  I have been doing this over the past several weeks and have found my level of stress has gone down because I get one important thing done before the rest of the day gets going. 

I’m not trying to control the outcome of my day, but instead focus on a few key actions that will move me towards the outcome I want in my life and not just fill it with lots of activity.

Give it a try tonight.  Think about just a few things that are really important and urgent for you to accomplish tomorrow.  Then before you do anything else, at least do one of those items on your list—first. 

Let me know if there are other ways you’ve found to get more of the “important” things done in your life.

What if you could add 12 to 15 plus years to your life?  Or, instead, what if you could extend the enjoyment of your passions well into your 80’s and even 90’s? 

These were the statements that caught my attention at one of the sessions at the Family Office Conference I attended last week in Newport, Rhode Island.   Watch my short video to hear more.

The organization is The World Clinic and they provide 24/7 medical care and assistance anywhere in the world.  This is obviously for executives and other people who travel internationally on a frequent basis and who need access to more sophisticated healthcare than is available in many parts of the world. 

Taking care of our best wealth creating tool–our health and specifically our brain–is what will allow us to wealth create later in our lives; for many of us this can bring tremendous opportunity and life satisfication.   

According to World Clinic, if you really want to “nail” your health, add to the list keeping your cholesteral and blood pressure in healthy ranges and this will really enhance your ability to keep on creating and enjoying the life you’ve chosen.

I love lots of options.  Not stock options (although those can be pretty fun and interesting), but instead, alternatives.

If you ask anyone on my team, they will tell you that I like to have choices to consider and weigh so that my direction can change and shift smoothly as circumstances change and/or information becomes clearer.  This can be really helpful in providing the type of financial counsel and guidance that is central to what we do at Highland.

Having said that, I recently had to confront the fact that having too many choices and alternatives is potentially a way for me to avoid taking action. 

I was having coffee with a friend in Pioneer Square (Grand Central Baking Company—excellent stop if you haven’t been), and we were discussing the integration of life, values, and money.  I was sharing with my friend that I was interested in exploring specifically where my philanthropic passions lie and that I was open to experiencing a few activities this year to see what might “tweak” my heart—as it relates to caring about people. 

[As discussed in an earlier blog post, caring about people is one of the core values we discovered at Highland, and a sub-component of that value is caring about the world.  I told my team that I needed to do some work on that area myself before I could lead or even ask the team to do the same.  So I told them that I would expose myself to several “caring for the world” experiences this year and report back to them.]

My friend said, just start somewhere and stop accumulating alternatives.  Okay, that was simple, but he nailed it on the head.  He went on to say that by starting somewhere with one thing would do the following: confirm my passion for the area; lead me closer to another alternative that I might not have even considered, or suggest this isn’t an opportunity I want to commit more time or energy to and therefore I learned something. 

My accumulation of choices and waiting for that one aha-type moment wasn’t getting me any closer to taking action.  This talked turned out to be a great wake-up call. 

So, in the next few months I am going to be visiting a homeless shelter in Seattle, taking part in a cancer walk, and making preliminary plans to visit Africa (more to follow on that later). 

In what area of your life do you need to just get going and stop avoiding?

About a month ago, the Wizard of Westwood, John Wooden died after a storied life of triumph.  He was arguably one of the greatest coaches and leaders of all time, indelibly influencing the game of basketball forever with his focus on basic skills, team greatness, and individual commitment.

After his death, I watched hours of ESPN programming about his life, his philosophy, his relationships, and his legacy.  I was amazed by how many people he influenced during his life, even long after he stopped coaching, and I presume for many years to come.

Over the past decade I have read several books about John and his life.  I have even used some of the elements of his Pyramid of Success approach in my own business team development and vision.  I shared some of that in a previous post on our internal strategic planning.

As a part of my own personal visioning process, I asked myself the question:  At my funeral, what do I want people to say about me?  Obviously, this really unabashedly pokes at the issue of legacy and the true meaning of my life. 

I had never done this before and decided to take a stab at it. So, one afternoon I got out my notebook and pen and started a list. 

It was interesting that it took me a while to get past the small items and performance based things like work success, awards, etc. and get to the essence of who I am and what I want to be remembered for (good father, husband, deep friendships, loyalty, compassion are a few of mine).  I plan to spend more time refining the list and processing what I wrote down over the next few months as I continue on this journey.

Some of the items are quite personal and in a recent conversation with a friend who was asking me about my list, I found myself getting very uncomfortable.  This tells me I also have some work to do on being more authentic with who I am—and who I want to become. 

What do you want your life to be about?  If you don’t know, it might be time to think about it and start moving towards it.  This exercise might come in handy, “My Life Story.”  It’s a five step exercise that helps represent expression of the “choices” you are making about your life.

If you want to know more about my experience going through this process, please feel free to reach out and I would be happy to share more of my story.

In this blog I talk a lot about the journey of significance and creating a life of meaning, alignment, and authenticity.  While writing about these important issues I want you to know that I am also going through my own personal process.  In sharing my own story and journey in real-time, I thought this might be helpful to you.

As I wrote several months ago, we went through a wonderful strategic planning process at Highland where we developed our core values, vision, mission and key strategies.  I have had several of you ask me for guidance and support in taking you and your companies through the same process.  I am very willing to talk about this and the power and energy it has generated in my company; so feel free to ask.

My focus has now shifted to my own personal values and vision for my life.  My goal is to integrate in a better way than I have done in the past the various components of my life:  financial, spiritual, work, family, legacy. 

This is requiring me to understand at a deeper level:  who I am.

To start the process I was encouraged to go back to the place I grew up and just let the memory of my life come to the surface.  In my case, this included a trip to a small beach community on Oakland Bay near the logging town of Shelton, Washington.  Our family had a cabin there for 25 years and it was a place I spent a great deal of time during my youth.  I learned to water ski, fish, clam, adventure, and build forts in that area.  I turned off my cell phone, and walked the beaches, visited our old cabin, and wrote in my journal the things that came to my mind.  I remembered paths in the woods, tree swings, special events, and memories.

It was an amazingly wonderful day to just think about my life and where I have come from and the stories that make up the collage of my life to this point.  I believe this will provide the base for me to explore further what I want my life to look like and what type of impact I want to have in this world.

If you haven’t gone to special place like that before, it might be time for you to take a day and revisit your roots.  I promise you it won’t be wasted time.  Let me know what you discover, would you?  Join us on Facebook for more discussions.